Maloney’s Job Agenda

Dave Maloney is the Republican candidate for the PA 130th Legislative District and this is his job program:

  • He’s a 2nd Amendment advocate – this provides income by putting more guns in people’s hands so that they can rob banks.  Guns are needed to rob banks so people that are out of work and have exhausted their unemployment benefits still need money to buy food for their family and banks are where the money is.
  • Maloney is all about the 10th Amendment and State’s rights which means that the Federal Government cannot say anything when Maloney proposes a bill to allow Pennsylvania to become the dumping ground for New York City’s trash.  Just think, the trash will create new mountains and landowners can charge visitors money to climb these newly created mountains of trash and Pennsylvania can charge a surtax on NYC’s trash.  It’s a win/win all around.
  • Maloney wants to prevent freedom of choice to homosexuals which may become a bill to outlaw sodomy.  This means that the bedroom police will be checking on everyone and anyone caught in the act of sodomy will go to jail thus providing jobs to people that will build more prisons and for more prison guards.

And you thought that Republicans had no job creation ideas.

(Satire)

UPDATE: On a more serious note, Dave Maloney is all about property rights, his property rights that is.  He told his friends that they could hunt on someone else’s property WITHOUT permission from the property owner.  What a dupe hole.

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2 thoughts on “Maloney’s Job Agenda”

  1. But… what about Jesus in the classroom? Surely he wants to replace textbooks with the Bible, right? That would give underemployed preachers like Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker full-time employment as Superintendents.

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